


part 1

by qweenofasadland



Series: what a tool with your cool leather jacket [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Borrowed jacket/jacket sharing, Drug Use, First Time Blow Jobs, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Speedos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-05-16 09:51:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19315738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qweenofasadland/pseuds/qweenofasadland
Summary: After inadvertently running into Billy Hargrove at a party, Steve finds himself in possession of Billy's jacket. Billy shows up unannounced to Steve's house in order to exchange Steve's forgotten jacket with the borrowed jacket belonging to Billy. They manage to delve into conversation, sharing their past - much more than either of them intended. Through their musings, Steve and Billy relate to one another in ways that neither of them expected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a prompt for Harringrove Week of Love but turned into something else. The title is a reference to The Neighbourhood's song "Revenge".

Shaking, his sweat turning to ice, Steve was starting to regret running out into the cold. In the moment, he had been less concerned with grabbing his jacket than just getting outside. He couldn’t stand being in that tiny ass basement any longer.

At first, he was having a good time at the party. He was drinking, smoking pot, and mingling. Pretending like he was still the King of Hawkins. It was nice until it wasn’t.

Drunk, stoned, and with more people continuing to arrive at the party, Steve began to feel claustrophobic. He barely had enough room to move. His chest felt tight and his heart started to race.

He stood in place and planned his escape through the massive crowd. All of the sudden, before Steve had a chance to get out of the basement, the lights began to flicker. It caused him to have a flashback to all that shit with the Demogorgon. 

His knees felt weak and his throat tightened. He was shaking, panicking. He had to get the fuck out of there and now. He blindly shoved past people until he finally made it up the stairs and outside. Steve’s head was spinning and he thought he was going to die.

He collapsed onto the steps leading up to the front door of the house and tried to breathe normally. The frigid air eventually sobered him and cleared his thoughts. Now, all that was on his mind was getting warm but he couldn’t go back down in that basement. At least not yet.

Violently shivering and with his teeth chattering, Steve did not hear the door open. He had wrapped his arms around himself when he saw a shadow looming over him. He turned his head and found Billy Hargrove lighting up a cigarette.

“Why the fuck are you out here without a jacket Harrington? Are you trying to catch something? Well, something else.” 

Steve made his best attempt at a groan through his clacking teeth. He wasn’t sure who had spread the rumor, but it was especially irritating that even Billy was aware of it. Someone, Steve assumed it was one of the girls he slept with in the past few months, had told several people that he had crabs. It was not true.

Billy laughed and clasped his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Relax, man. I’m just fucking with you. I figured it was bullshit. Do you want a cigarette?” 

Somehow thinking it would help him warm up, Steve nodded and took the cigarette from Billy. He had to grasp the hand holding the cigarette with his other hand in order to steady it enough to bring it to his lips. 

After lighting another cigarette for himself, Billy continued to silently watch Steve. “Fuck, here take my jacket.” Steve shook his head as Billy started to remove the leather outerwear. “N-n-nuh-no. It-it’s f-f-fine.” Billy ignored him and draped the garment over his shoulders.

“Th-tha-thanks,” Steve stuttered as he pulled the jacket around him. The jacket had retained Billy’s own warmth and was now providing Steve with much needed heat. 

Billy smoked most of his cigarette before saying anything else. Eventually, he repeated the sentiments of his earlier question that had gone unanswered, “Why are you outside without a jacket? Did you not bring one, or what?”

Steve sighed, slightly irritated that Billy was not yet shivering and that he was so persistent. “I did bring one but left it inside. I – umm – I was having a bad trip or something and couldn’t stand being down there any l-longer.” 

Billy just nodded and threw his butt to the ground to stomp out the remaining glowing embers. “What does it look like? You can keep mine for now and I’ll go grab yours.”

Startled with Billy’s consideration, Steve was speechless. After blinking a couple times, he regained his thoughts. “It’s a black Baracuta jacket, y’know with the plaid lining.” Billy nodded and headed into the house. 

Unobserved, Steve pulled on Billy’s leather jacket and wrapped it tight against his body. He brought the collar up to his face and inhaled. It smelled of cigarettes and pungent cologne. It smelled like Billy, a familiar scent that Steve had grown accustomed to during basketball season.

When he dropped the collar from his nose, Steve heard the sounds of approaching sirens. Glancing down the street, he could see the lights of a police car in the distance. He quickly stood up; he could not wait around to see if they were breaking up the party. His father would murder him if he were arrested. 

Fleeing the location of the party, Steve trudged through backyards until he made it back to his car parked a couple streets away. He hoped Billy would not be too pissed that he took off with his jacket.

He climbed into the Beemer and headed home. 

Steve woke up, hungover and still clutching Billy’s jacket. He must’ve fallen asleep right after removing it. His parents were absent, which was typical of a Saturday afternoon, so Steve had the house to himself.

Lacking close neighbors, Steve had no qualms strutting around the house in the nude. It was one benefit of having parents who were never home that he could enjoy. It was probably the only aspect of being alone that he liked.

He dreaded to be left with only his thoughts as companions. It was easier when he was dating Nancy. It was easier before he knew about the Upside Down. It was easier when he was friends with Carol and Tommy. It was easier when he was King Steve. 

Steve had felt more alone in the past few months than he believed was possible.

Sure, he had Dustin and the kids to keep him occupied at times but it wasn’t the same. Nancy wanted so badly to remain friends with Steve but it was too painful for him to endure. He longed to have someone his own age to talk to that understood.

To quell his loneliness, Steve pretended to be the same fun-loving person that he used to be. The party animal. The king of conquest. Every party that Steve attended, he would go home with a different girl. He thought that it would help.

Instead, Steve just continued to increasingly feel more and more empty inside. A hollow shell of his former self. He couldn’t talk to the people he partied with, the girls he slept with. At least not about what he actually needed to talk about.

He never had been able to talk to Nancy about all the fucked up shit with the Upside Down. She had experienced much worse and lost her best friend, how could Steve have bothered her with his own feelings? Instead, he did his best to listen and tried to take her mind – and his own – off of it.

He also did not want to unload his own internal drama onto any of the kids. With everything that had happened with Will and Eleven/Jane, Steve didn’t think it would have been fair. He also did not want them to see any sort of weakness in him.

The only other options Steve had were Jonathon, Chief Hopper, or Mrs. Byers. Though he and Jonathon had settled their differences and accepted each other, there was still significant tension. Jonathon, Mrs. Byers, and Hopper also all had much more important things to deal with. They did not need to hear Steve’s whining.

With no one to turn to, Steve had to handle his problems completely on his own. Sometimes he could manage but currently that was not the case.

He sat in front of the television, unaware of what was on, and reflected on what had happened last night. It was not his first panic attack but it was the first time it had happened in public. 

He had occasional nightmares but in recent months, they had become more frequent. As a result, Steve barely slept anymore. The only way that he could drift off was if he was drunk or high, or after sex. 

Even when he was awake, Steve’s past experiences still haunted him. Any flickering lights, weird noises, or dark figures seen in his peripheral vision not only made him immediately jump but also triggered flashbacks. They had started around the same time as the consistent nightmares.

Steve knew that avoiding his feelings and not resolving his problems would eventually catch up to him but he wasn’t expecting it to be like this. It was getting to the point where he wasn’t sure if he could withstand it any longer.

Naked and deep in contemplation in the living room, Steve nearly jumped out of his skin when the doorbell rang. In a slight panic, he ran to the kitchen and grabbed an apron before looking out the peephole.

 _Fuck_. 

Billy Hargrove was at Steve’s door, holding Steve’s jacket in his arms. 

Steve wiped his face and quickly determined what to do. He didn’t have enough time to run upstairs and put on proper clothes, Billy would leave by the time he answered the door. Sighing, he opened the door a crack. 

Speaking through the sliver, Steve told Billy, “Stay there a minute while I go and grab your jacket.” As he went to shut the door, Billy wedged his foot in the way. “It’s fucking freezing out here. C’mon, let me in Harrington.”

Steve attempted to protest but Billy was already muscling his way into the foyer. Giving up, he stood aside and grew bright red as Billy walked in. 

Billy immediately burst into laughter as he glimpsed Steve’s impromptu getup. “Good God Harrington! Please tell me that this is not some sort of ploy a girl has come up with.” He looked around. “There’s not some naked bitch here with you, is there?” 

Steve shook his head and made an effort to explain his attire. “No, I was about to take a shower and went to grab something in the kitchen when you rang the doorbell. I was completely naked so I threw this apron on.” 

Billy skeptically narrowed his eyes at him but didn’t say anything. Steve stood flustered for a moment until he finally started to back towards the stairs. He eventually stammered out, “Umm… could you maybe turn around? So I don’t have to walk backwards up the stairs?”

Though he scoffed rather loudly, Billy did as he was asked. He then made the comment, “Y’know it’s not like I haven’t seen it before.” 

Steve had started up the stairs and turned to make sure Billy wasn’t looking. He then said, “It’s not the same. This is my house not the locker room.”

“Fair enough, I guess,” Billy replied. It struck Steve as an odd way to put it but he shrugged it off and quickly made it up the rest of the stairs. He threw on some sweatpants and a t-shirt before grabbing Billy’s jacket off his bed.

Billy was no longer in the foyer. Steve thought maybe he had left until he spotted him in the living room, looking out at the pool. He had heard Steve approaching so he turned towards him.

“Nice place,” Billy remarked without sarcasm. 

Steve typically said ‘thanks’ or simply nodded but instead told Billy with candor, “I fucking hate it.” 

“Really?” 

“Yup. Total suburban nightmare.”

Billy looked Steve over and scoffed. “Imagine that. ‘King’ Steve is too good for a perfect house with a perfect pool and perfect parents.”

It was Steve’s turn to scoff. “That’s not at all what I meant. Besides, you have no idea what you are talking about. My life is far from perfect.”

Billy actually laughed, a cruel cackle. “Yeah, okay,” he said mockingly.

“Fuck you.” Steve walked over and shoved Billy’s jacket towards him. “Take your stupid ‘wrong side of the tracks’ leather jacket and get the fuck out of my house.”

Billy laughed again, but without menace. “Fuck me? You wish.” Steve glowered at him as he held out Steve’s jacket. “Here. I’m sorry, okay? You don’t have to be such a drama queen, I was only teasing.” 

Steve continued to remain silent as he took the jacket. At first, he had been nervous that he was pushing the limit with Billy. Now, he was just annoyed and wanted to be rid of Billy as quick as possible.

Billy, far from the silent type, began talking again. “Hey, why did you take off last night? I figured with all the ass you’ve been getting lately, you had found some bitch to take home.”

Steve sighed. He was becoming sick with the way that Billy referred to women. Though Steve knew that he was not the best example of how to treat girls, considering how he would sleep with girls and then avoid them, he couldn’t stand Billy calling them bitches.

“You might get laid more often if you quit calling girls ‘bitches’, it’s fucking disrespectful.” He had heard about Billy’s lack of success with the ladies from Tommy H. He went out with several girls but as Tommy had worded it, none of them were willing to put out.

Billy crossed his arms and huffed, “I have no issues getting laid. Most girls are bitches, at least from my own experience. But, if it makes you happy, I will stop saying it around you. Are you going to answer my question?”

“You shouldn’t say it at all,” Steve told him before trying to recall the question. Remembering, he said, “I saw a cop down the street, so I took off.”

In response, Billy scoffed. “Really? Are you that scared of the cops around here?” Steve rolled his eyes and shrugged. “It’s not the police that I was worried about but more about how my dad would react if I was arrested.”

“Yeah? What would he do, take away your allowance?” Billy was being condescending but his gaze was directed towards the ground, clearly uncomfortable with the subject. 

“For your information, ass-wipe, I do not have an allowance. He would not only leave me in jail, he’d also kick me out of the house and sell all of my shit.”

Billy rolled his eyes but kept his head down.

Though he was pissed with how dismissive Billy was, Steve tried not to get worked up. “Oh okay, so what could possibly be worse than that?”

His head snapped up and searchingly stared into Steve’s eyes. “You really have no idea do you?” Billy then laughed, cold and bitterly. “It must be nice to be that naïve.”

Steve was about to go off but the look on Billy’s face stopped him. He realized, and not for the first time, that Billy’s blue eyes held a great deal of pain.

Everything clicked into place. Steve was finally able to make sense of Billy. There was reason behind his abhorrent behavior towards others. Still, it didn’t excuse the fact that Billy had attempted to beat Steve to death or his apparent sexism and racism. 

Steve nodded. “You’re right, it could be worse. It’s just that…” he paused for a moment, considering the idea of confiding in Billy, but then continued, “… I’m barely passing my classes and I have no idea what I’m going to do when I finish high school anyway. I applied to a couple of colleges but I haven’t heard back from any of them. With my future up in the air at this point, I would have no idea what to do if I was kicked out.”

The tension resting on Billy’s features was finally starting to subside. He made a suggestion, “If you hate this house and could get kicked out anyway, why don’t you start working and get a place of your own?”

Steve gave the idea some serious thought. It would be nice for him to have his own place even if he did end up going to college. “I have some money saved up but even with a job, I’m not sure I’d be able to afford somewhere on my own. There are not many options around here.”

“Yeah, I forget that this hick town is too lame to have any apartments. Are there any options besides houses?” 

Steve wanted to be mad about Billy referring to Hawkins as a hick town but at the same time, he wasn’t wrong. He chuckled. “Though you wouldn’t expect it, we do have some apartments. There are the Hawk’s View apartments, which used to be for the steel workers until the mill shut down. It’s actually really close to where you live. And there are some apartments above the shops downtown.”

Billy looked astonished. “People actually live in that dump on Factory Avenue? I thought it was abandoned like the steel mill itself.”

“No, there are a few people that rent there. It’s cheaper than any other living options. Besides apartments and houses, there is also a trailer park. There are also several available lots outside of town.”

A look of bemusement appeared on Billy’s face. “Lots? What do you expect to do? Build a fucking house?”

He chuckled, realizing the ridiculousness of the possibility. Steve explicated, “I mean, you could, but I was thinking more along the lines of a trailer or something like that.”

“Well, until you figure out if you are going to college or not, I think that renting is your best bet. And if it’s still not affordable, you could always get a roommate or two.” 

Steve mulled over the idea of roommates. It was a rational suggestion, but who on earth would live with him? Jonathon? Tommy and Carol? “Though a roommate is a practical option, I think I’d choose living in a cardboard box over living with anyone else.”

Billy’s sharp white teeth gleamed. “Are the options really that bad?”

In response, Steve chuckled. “Pretty much, but that’s what happens when you have no friends.” 

“King Steve. No friends? You’re kidding me right?” Billy’s bright blue eyes grew wide with disbelief. “You are the most popular person in Hawkins, so you can’t sit here and tell me you have no friends. Like I get that Tommy and Carol are assholes, but amongst all the people you hang out with, are you seriously saying you don’t have any friends?”

Steve ran his hand through his hair. It was a nervous habit. He debated with himself on whether or not he was ready to discuss this with Billy. 

_Fuck it_.

“I consider them acquaintances, not friends. They don’t really know me and I don’t know them. I thought that Tommy and Carol were my friends but they weren’t. They didn’t give a shit about me and honestly I didn’t care about them either.”

“What about your ex – Nancy? And her boyfriend? Aren’t you friends with them?”

 _Goddamn_. Billy was really getting in deep with all his fucking questions. Steve wasn’t sure why he was allowing the conversation to continue but he found it somewhat refreshing. He wasn’t used to someone listening to him talk about himself.

“I mean we are cool and all, but I wouldn’t exactly call us friends. I tried to be, for a while, but…” Steve trailed off. He couldn’t believe that he was actually about to tell Billy fucking Hargrove about how painful it was to attempt to remain friends with Nancy.

Billy nodded. “Yeah, I get that it could be difficult, trying to be friends with your ex. I can’t even imagine it but then again, I’ve never had a girlfriend.”

Steve was stunned. “What? You’ve never had a girlfriend? What about all of the dates you go on?”

He shrugged. “That’s all they are, just dates. I either fuck them and move on or nothing.”

Steve raised an eyebrow, wondering if Tommy was right about Billy not getting any action. “Is that all you want? Sex? Are you not interested in having a girlfriend?” 

Billy grinned and looked down at the ground. “I mean, I’ve entertained the idea of a girlfriend now and then but when it comes down to it, no I’m not interested.”

Steve had felt the same when he had first started sleeping with girls. If it weren’t for the persistence of a couple of them, he probably wouldn’t have had any girlfriends apart from Nancy. “The right girl could change your mind. Is there a reason why you aren’t interested?”

His eyebrows scrunched together. “Why would I need a reason? I just don’t want a girlfriend.”

There was some hostility behind Billy’s response, as if Steve was accusing him of something. “No, you don’t need a reason, I never did. I was just curious, that’s all.” 

After sighing loudly, Billy then declared, “I need a cigarette, can I smoke in here?”

“No fucking way, my mother would shit herself. We can go out by the pool, I could use a cigarette too.” Though Steve didn’t add that Billy was the reason for his sudden impulse to smoke. It was so unsettling for Billy to be in his house and to be having a civilized discussion.

Steve was not a frequent smoker, usually he only smoked at parties, but right now he needed something to calm his nerves. He didn’t understand why, as it happened before their fight, but he always becomes flustered around Billy. Though he did have to admit, once the two of them were well into conversation, it became easier and easier.

Steve slid on the jacket Billy had returned and noticed for the first time that Billy was not wearing a coat or jacket as he put on the leather jacket Steve had handed back to him. 

Once outside, the two of them sat on the lounge chairs. Steve started, “Could I b-“ but before he could finish asking for a cigarette, Billy passed him one. “I know you don’t smoke, at least not usually.” Steve could not hide the shock on his face and Billy laughed. “What? I’ve never seen you smoke in the school parking lot or any other time besides at parties.”

“Yeah, I’ve never smoked much. I was always too worried about it messing with sports or getting caught. I do enjoy it every once in a while though, especially when I’m drinking,” Steve confessed.

“How would it affect you playing sports? I smoke all the damn time and I play basketball better than you.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I don’t know but that’s what I was worried about. Less so with basketball than with swimming.”

Billy’s eyes grew wide with astonishment and gaped at Steve. “You were a swimmer? I can’t even imagine that.”

Chuckling, Steve asked, “Why is that so hard to believe? I was pretty good too. Up until they kicked me off the team.”

“Well now I’m intrigued Harrington. Why did you get kicked off the team?” Steve could feel his cheeks getting warm. He wasn’t quite prepared to divulge this information to Billy. After a few minutes of silence, Billy pressed, “Well?”

He sighed before launching into the explanation. “The official reason was because they did not have enough spots for me to be on the team. There were other swimmers though that never even swam in meets so I was confused. Later on, I learned that I was a distraction.”

Steve prayed that Billy would not need an elaboration but he knew it was useless. Sweat began to form on his forehead and he knew he was beet red by the time Billy responded. “A distraction? What do you mean?”

“Well, umm… you know what we have to wear right? Speedos? They are quite tight and small and apparently, apparently I – umm – filled them out a little too well.” Steve could not bear to see Billy’s face react to the embarrassing story so he stared out over the water and waited for laughter.

Instead, Billy flatly asked, “Are you actually saying that your dick was a distraction? A distraction for who?” There was more curiosity in his voice than amusement.

Steve finally brought himself to look at Billy. He immediately regretted the action when he noticed that Billy’s eyes were focused on the front of his sweatpants. Instinctively, Steve covered himself. “Really?”

Billy quickly looked away and muttered, “Sorry.”

Steve rolled his eyes and answered, “I don’t know who, that’s just what the assistant coach told me. However, it did seem like there was always a large crowd, featuring mostly girls. And – I did get several numbers and a few dates at the after parties.”

Billy shrugged. “I don’t get why that would get you kicked off the team though. Surely the school would be happy that you were drawing in a large crowd. The only thing – never mind.”  
This time it was Steve who was pressing Billy for more. “What? What were you going to say?”

Billy lit up another cigarette and offered Steve one before he spoke again. “The only thing that I could think of that would result in you being kicked off the team is if anyone else on the team or one of the coaches were ‘distracted’.”

Mid-drag, Steve started coughing when the words registered. “What? It was an all boys team and the coaches were all guys too so that would mean…” Steve’s eyes went wide with the shock of what Billy was suggesting.

“No, no. Maybe I caught the attention of a girlfriend, a sister, a daughter, or maybe even a wife. But one of the guys? I don’t think so.”

Billy shrugged. “Why not? Surely there are a few gay men in Hawkins?” 

“I’m sure there are but I can’t see anyone on the team or either of the coaches as being a _homosexual_.” He whispered the word, clearly uncomfortable with the topic.

Billy laughed. “You know you don’t have to whisper it, right? No one is around to hear you. And you can just call them gay.”

Steve smiled, awkward and forced. He wasn’t sure what to do. “Where you are from in California, is it more common?” 

With a sharp grin, Billy prodded, “Is what more common?”

Steve groaned, knowing Billy wanted him to say it. He wasn’t sure why he had such a problem saying it, it was just a word. There was some sense of forbiddance but he did not think that was the reason. “Is being _gay_ more common?” 

Billy continued to smirk and shrugged. “I’m not sure if it is more common but I do think that because it is a little more accepted, gay people are more open about their sexuality. I’m curious Harrington, what are your thoughts on homosexuality?”

Though he wondered why Billy was asking, he obliged and answered, “Like if it’s a sin or disgusting or whatever? I mean I’m not religious but I guess I get why those who are religious think it’s a sin. It’s just like any other sex before marriage. I don’t think it is gross or anything like that but it is hard for me to imagine anyone here being gay.”

Billy appeared taken aback at the first part of Steve’s response but then asked, “Why is it so hard for you to imagine it?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that Hawkins is such a small town and everyone knows everybody else’s business. I feel like if someone was gay, everyone would know. If not, then they are doing a damn good job of keeping it hidden and that has to be painful.”

With his brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed, Billy asked, “Painful?”

“Yeah, keeping secrets and hiding who you are has to be excruciating. How would someone be able to keep that in? I can’t imagine how hard it would be for them.”

“Sounds like you know something about it. Keeping secrets I mean.” Before Steve could get a word in, Billy continued, “It _is_ painful, from my own experience.”

What was he referring to, Steve wondered. His heart skipped a beat considering the chance that Billy was gay. He immediately shooed away that idea and instead asked him directly, “What experience is that?”

Billy chuckled, different from his usual laugh, it held some nervousness. “King Steve is asking about _my_ life? Imagine that.” 

Annoyed, Steve crossed his arms. “What do you mean?”

Billy shrugged. “Nothing. Just with your status – well former status – I assumed that you were the type to go on and on about yourself but hate to hear other people talk about themselves.”

Steve huffed, “You clearly don’t know anything about me but I think you are diverting anyway. Since you are always assuming something about me, why don’t I make an assumption about you?” He raised a brow and took a breath before blurting, “Your father beats you.”

Billy looked as though he had been slapped. He visibly recoiled from Steve’s words. After some time, he quietly asked, “How did you know?”

Steve swallowed, hard. He suddenly felt like a complete asshole. “I didn’t – I’m sorry.” 

“Sorry for what?” Billy spat angrily. “Sorry for being right? Sorry for saying it? Sorry that my dad is a piece of shit?”

“For all of it. I’m so sorry Billy.” Steve meant it. He should have never put his thoughts into words. He tried to make up by speaking with a softness usually reserved for pillow talk and by using Billy’s first name, something he had never done before.

The anger and hurt still haunted Billy’s features and he told Steve, “I don’t want any pity. Especially not from you Harrington.”

“I don’t –“

“Yes you do.”

Knowing that Billy was correct, that Steve did indeed pity him, he kept his mouth shut and they sat in silence. After some time, Steve stood up and declared, “Let’s go inside, it’s too fucking cold out here.”

Billy nodded and followed him inside. Much to Steve’s chagrin, his mother was in the kitchen. “Muffin, you could have told us you were going to have a guest over today. I would have cleaned.” Steve cringed at his mother’s hideous pet name for him and glanced towards Billy who was obviously concealing amusement. After ignoring her, she then asked, “Well, are you going to continue to be rude or introduce your friend?”

She smiled at Billy, a porcelain grin of falsity. Steve sighed and told her, “This is Billy Hargrove.”

“Hargrove? I don’t think I know anyone by that name.”

“We just moved here last October.”

Always nosey beyond necessity, Mrs. Harrington then inquired, “Oh what is your mother’s name? I’m always interested in socializing with all the ladies in Hawkins. And where about in town do you live?”

Billy narrowed his eyes and despite appearing as though he was going to have a smart remark, he politely replied, “My stepmother’s name is Susan Hargrove. We live on Cherry Street.” 

Mrs. Harrington’s face tightened at the mention of Cherry Street. Steve should have known why she was asking where Billy lived. She wanted to know if the Hargroves were worthy of friendship, which would require them to be wealthy. In an attempt to distract from her obvious disgust, she questioned Billy again.

“So you have moved to Hawkins with your father and stepmother? Where did you move from?”

Billy was clearly uncomfortable and Steve was going to try to get him away from his prying mother as soon as he could. Still, Billy obliged her with a response, “Yes, and my stepsister. We moved from California.”

“Oh lovely. This weather must be a drastic change for you then? Is your mother still living in California?”

Instead of letting Billy answer her, Steve interrupted the conversation. “Are you finished interrogating him, Liz? We were going to go upstairs.”

She pursed her lips in irritation. She hated when Steve did not call her ‘mom’ or ‘mother’. “I was just about to write you a note that your father and I are going to the country club and we will not return until late this evening. Try to stay out of trouble and please keep the house in order while we are gone.”

Steve rolled his eyes but told his mother, “Okay.” She then hurried off to her bedroom, Steve assumed she had to change. He beckoned Billy to follow him upstairs. 

They went into Steve’s bedroom and he closed the door behind Billy. “We will just stay in here until they leave. Sorry my mom was asking you all those questions.”

“It’s okay. Thank you for saving me from her.” Billy beamed at Steve, who couldn’t help but return the smile. Billy started to walk around Steve’s room. He picked up the book off of the dresser and commented, “Vonnegut? You surprise me Harrington.”

He held the worn copy of _Breakfast of Champions_ in his hand. Steve acknowledged the book, “Jonathon loaned it to me. I thought I would hate it but I have to admit that I actually like it.”

“Hmm, I’m not a fan of Vonnegut but I understand his appeal,” Billy remarked.

Steve rolled his eyes and asked, “What do you like to read then?”

“Mostly obscure poetry. However, I have read a little bit of everything. Besides Vonnegut, what else are you into?”

Steve looked away in embarrassment. He knew Billy was smart and though he had never witnessed him reading, Billy always had a book with him. Steve was uncertain as to how Billy would react to his response. “I’ve never really read anything outside of class. I’ve just started reading for myself.”

Billy gave him a soft smile. “I could recommend a few books to start out with. Do you know if you are interested in any specific genres or style?”

Steve was relieved with Billy’s kindness. “Well I like Vonnegut so far, whatever genre _Breakfast of Champions_ is? Satire? I don’t know. I do know that I hated Shakespeare and _The Great Gatsby_ but I did like _Animal Farm_ and _The Catcher in the Rye_.”

Billy pursed his lips in concentration and nodded. “Okay, yeah I think I have a few books to recommend to you then. I’ll make a list.” 

Steve chuckled. “You aren’t going to write it up now, are you?” 

“I mean, I could, if you want? Do you have something else planned?” Billy questioned him. 

“I think my parents are gone. I figured we could raid their liquor cabinet and then go for a swim. The pool is heated.”

“Just the two of us? Or do you want to invite some people, some girls, over too?” 

Steve honestly hadn’t thought of having other people over. He hadn’t had anyone over in a long time and he hadn’t been in the pool himself for nearly two years. Something about hanging out with Billy had triggered the desire. He didn’t feel like seeing anyone else and was enjoying one-on-one time with Billy but did not want to admit it.

“I don’t care but if you want to, you could call some people up,” Steve said, placing that decision in Billy’s hands instead. 

Billy shrugged. “I don’t care either, though I’m not really in the mood to deal with more than one person at the moment. It’s cool if it’s just us two. However, if it is just me and you, you have to do something for me.”

Steve swallowed hard; he could not imagine what Billy wanted to ask of him. “What?” His response came out much more weakly than he had wanted it to. He folded his arms across his chest and awaited Billy’s answer.

He laughed, a tinge of nervousness on its edge. “You have to show me the speedo you were talking about. I have to see this for myself.” 

Steve’s face grew hot immediately. “No, absolutely not.” 

Billy wore a wide grin. “Please? I swear, cross my heart and hope to die, that I will not laugh. I need some help creating the whole image in my mind so that I can fully understand your situation, being kicked off the team and everything.” 

“I probably don’t even have them any more and I don’t know if they still fit.”

“But if you do have them and they still fit…”

Steve groaned, “Fine, but first I will need something to drink and you have to promise not to laugh or tell anyone about it.”

“I promise. Where’s the booze?”


	2. Chapter 2

After downing a few bottles of expensive and potent liquor, Steve made his way back up to his room to look for the Speedo. He hadn’t struggled climbing the stairs but once he reached the top, he began to feel the effects of the alcohol. His head was swimming as he dug through his closet. 

Lo and behold, Steve managed to find the old pair of green and white Speedos towards the bottom of the pile of clothes. He laughed in disbelief as he pulled off his clothes and tried them on. Steve couldn’t comprehend why he had even agreed to do this and why he continued to follow through with the plan.

The Speedo fit, though it was a little snug. Steve tried to look in the mirror and assess how he looked but he couldn’t really see any issues. Smiling, he made his way downstairs to show Billy.

He was in the living room only in his briefs. When he saw Steve, his eyes went wide and he exclaimed, “Holy fuck, Harrington.”

Suddenly feeling insecure, Steve feebly asked, “What?” He put his hands in front of himself. 

Instead of speaking, Billy just continued to stare. Now irritated, Steve demanded, “What!”

Billy shook his head. “Sorry, it’s just - you do know how those look, right?” He gestured to the Speedo. 

Steve looked down at himself but did not really understand what the problem was. “What do you mean?”

Billy scoffed. “Are you serious? You can’t see the – uh – ridiculousness?”

“What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t see anything wrong with them.” Steve was immensely confused.

Laughing, Billy told him, “There’s nothing wrong with the Speedos per se. Your massive dick, on the other hand, is definitely noticeable and distracting. I understand why they kicked you off the team now.”

Steve knew that he was bigger than average, many of the girls he had fucked told him so. He had been very nervous during Nancy’s first time, worried about her petite size. Thankfully, she handled it pretty well. He didn’t just hear comments from girls though; there were some guys who had also made remarks in the locker room. So, he wasn’t completely surprised over Billy’s reaction.

Wanting to move on from the subject, Steve rolled his eyes and asked, “Do you want to go swimming or continue to stand here and look at my dick?”

“I –“ Billy started but he didn’t finish. Instead of speaking, he gestured towards the pool. Steve took the cue and grabbed the towels he had dropped on the floor along with a bottle of scotch before heading out the door. 

Though it was spring, the weather had other plans. It was freezing out and Steve shivered as he approached the pool. Steve threw the towels on the lounge chairs and placed the liquor at the edge of the pool. He jumped in the water, wanting to warm up quickly and hide from Billy’s prying eyes. Billy then followed him in. 

They both came up, sputtering and laughing but feeling significantly warmer. Billy stared at Steve for a moment before demanding, “You have to show me what you’ve got.”

“ _What_?” Steve nearly choked as he spat out the question. He hoped Billy wasn’t asking what Steve thought he was. 

“Like, your swimming?”

Steve let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, okay, I guess?” He did a freestyle stroke across the length of the pool and then swam back over to Billy.

“You weren’t very fast,” Billy claimed. 

Steve scoffed. “I wasn’t trying to be fast but keep in mind it has been awhile and I am a little drunk.”

“Oh, alright then. I didn’t swim for school or anything but I’m a pretty strong swimmer. I was actually thinking of lifeguarding this summer,” Billy mentioned before taking a swig of scotch.

Steve tried to picture Billy in the red trunks with a whistle, bossing kids around. It wasn’t hard to imagine. “That seems like easy money. Isn’t the training course in a few weeks?” He took the bottle from Billy.

“Yeah, I have to sign up by next Friday but I haven’t made up my mind about it yet.” 

After gulping down a good amount of the amber-colored liquor, Steve handed the bottle back to Billy. “You should do it. I think you would be good at it and besides, there are hot girls either lifeguarding or hanging out at the pool.”

Billy rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t be in it for the girls, Harrington, but thanks for the tip.” He chugged the alcohol before passing it back to Steve. They continued to share the bottle of booze until it was empty, talking about mostly meaningless drabble.

The sun was just starting to set and even though Steve was wasted, he had enough sense remaining to think about preparing for his parents’ return. “We have to get out of the pool, one so we don’t drown and two so that we can hide the evidence before those assholes get back.” A small giggle escaped from his lips.

Billy giddily grinned. “Yeah, okay.” He clamored out of the pool with a slight struggle. Steve had a much more difficult time. After Billy watched and laughed, he eventually offered to help. “Here, take my hand you moron.”

Steve groaned but took him up on the offer and grasped Billy’s outstretched hand. The contact, lacking the usual aggression shared between the two of them, sent a shiver down Steve’s spine. He attributed it to the chilly air. 

Billy helped pull Steve out of the water but lost his balance once Steve set foot on the concrete. He stumbled, accidentally pulling Steve on top of him. Their wet, slippery bodies collided and Steve immediately tried to get up. The slickness between them did not make it easy. Steve kept slipping and for a moment, he gave up.

He lay on top of Billy, the two of them both chuckling. Suddenly, Billy went quiet and bucked his hips upward into Steve. The sensation caught Steve off-guard and he hastily put space between them. Billy cackled before telling him, “I figured that would get you moving.”

Feeling embarrassed and slightly humiliated, Steve forced himself to stand up even though he had to put in a lot of effort due to his intoxicated state. He walked away and into the house with Billy calling after him. “Harrington, wait for me.”

Steve turned on his heel and snapped, “I think it’s time you go home.”

His angry demand stopped Billy in his tracks. “I-“ Steve could see in the fading light that Billy wore a look of hurt on his features. “Please,” Billy began to beg, tears now rolling down his cheeks. “I can’t go home.” This maudlin, new facet of Billy’s personality was difficult for Steve to process.

He wanted to be an asshole and he wanted to tell him to ‘fuck off’. However, Steve could not bring himself to do so. Instead, he stood in quiet observation and Billy continued, “ _Please_ , Steve. I’m really sorry. Just let me stay, please?”

The desperation in Billy’s voice convinced Steve. “Fine. But you have to promise me something.”

Billy eagerly nodded. “Yes, anything.”

“You have to promise to tell me the truth.”

“The truth?” Confusion was present on Billy’s features.

“Yes, the truth. Anything that I ask you, you have to be honest,” Steve propositioned.

Billy rolled his eyes but agreed, “Okay.” He followed Steve up to his room. 

Steve picked up his clothes from the floor and told Billy, “I’ll change in the bathroom, you can change in here. There’s clothes in the dresser, you can borrow whatever you like.” Billy nodded and Steve entered the bathroom.

After Steve changed, he walked back into the bedroom. Billy was just wearing a pair of Steve’s underwear. “Sorry,” Steve said before quickly turning away. 

Billy snorted. “Really? It’s not like you haven’t seen me in less before. Besides, this is what I normally wear to bed.” 

Steve’s eyes went wide unintentionally. “So you aren’t going to put on pants?”

Billy chuckled. “Well yeah, but I’m just warning you for later.” 

“Oh, okay. Are you hungry? Should I order a pizza or something?”

“Pizza sounds good.”


	3. Chapter 3

After the two of them had ordered and consumed the pizza, Steve had suggested that they return to his room to avoid his parents’ return.

They were both sitting on the bed listening to music. Well, Steve was listening and Billy was mostly complaining. They were listening to the _Toto IV_ album when there was a banging on the bedroom door. “Steve, turn off the music now!” the loud booming voice of James Harrington demanded.

Steve immediately got up and rushed over to the stereo, shutting it off. Billy had a huge grin on his face but thankfully declined to say anything. Steve still attempted to explain, “It’s just easier to do what he says. He sold my last speaker set when I didn’t turn it off when he told me too. Granted, it was too loud to hear him.”

Billy opened his mouth and then briefly closed it again before eventually speaking, “One time, I had a stereo set and I had the volume all the way up. My dad had been at work and I didn’t know he had returned until the music shut off. He grabbed me by my throat and repetitively slammed me into the brand new system.”

With Billy’s similar story, Steve felt a pang of pity for him. Here he was, devastated over his father simply selling his stereo equipment but Billy was basically beaten with it. Steve wasn’t sure what to say and blurted, “What was the damage?”

He had been referring to the speakers but he received a different answer from Billy. “Bruises that covered my entire back and I think a cracked rib,” he responded nonchalantly. 

Steve winced, horrified at what Billy had just revealed. He had asked Billy to be honest but he wasn’t expecting him to volunteer information without being asked directly. “Did you go to the hospital?”

Billy scoffed. “Yeah, right. When he had broken my arm and had given me a concussion? Yes, my mom took me but lied for _him_. But after she left, I had to quietly suffer or face a more severe punishment for seeking help.” 

Steve could feel that his face was devoid of color. He couldn’t help but be affected by the abuse Billy was describing. Though he felt sick, he knew he had to know more so he asked, “So you did try to seek help?”

“It was partly unintentional. I was in 7th grade, playing basketball in gym when I fell. I can’t remember if I was pushed or tripped but I do remember the pain. The night before, my dad had picked up the nearest object, a plank of wood, and beat my backside for skipping school. I was crying in pain after I fell and the gym teacher made me go to the nurse.”

He took a sharp intake of breath before continuing, “The nurse then examined my back and legs and saw the bruises, discerning that they weren’t from me falling. The school set up a meeting and interrogated me and my father.”

“I knew better than to tell the truth but also understood that they knew he had hit me, so instead I told them that I deserved it. I don’t know exactly what my dad told them but I overheard him yelling at them for trying to tell him how to raise his kid.”

“When we got home, he dragged me to the top of the stairs and screamed at me. Called me every name in the book and said that I wasn’t to leave my room until he said I could. Then, then there was this look in his eyes. Pure hatred. He told me, ‘Just in case, I’m going to make sure you can’t go anywhere,’ right before pushing me down the stairs.”

Steve’s mouth dropped open. “What? Your dad pushed you down the stairs?” 

Billy sighed, appearing slightly irritated. “That’s what I said, isn’t it? My ankle is still a little messed up, I’m pretty sure I broke it. I was in that house for weeks afterwards, not going anywhere and not seeing anyone. When he finally lifted the punishment, I found out after he dropped me off there, that he had put me in a different school.” 

“That’s – that’s insane Billy. Your dad – _he’s_ insane. You –“

“You don’t think I know that?” Billy cut him off. His voice was raised in anger.

Steve did not want his father to barge in so he scooted closer to Billy and placed a calming hand on his shoulder. He talked in a whisper, “I wasn’t implying that you didn’t. I was trying to say that you need to get away from him.”

Billy looked at Steve’s hand but did not attempt to shrug away or say anything about it. “I had planned on it until he married Susan and there was someone besides myself to worry about.”

Steve dropped his hand and thought that he was for sure going to vomit with the somersaults his stomach was doing. “Max. Has your dad hit her?”

“No, hell fucking no. I would never let that happen.” 

“Good, but… shouldn’t you try to get Max’s mom to leave him?”

Billy scoffed. “I have. I’ve tried everything. Unfortunately, Susan is just as stubborn as her daughter. I broke her shit. I’ve cussed her out. She just sits there and watches –“ his voice cracked with emotion and he paused.

“She has done nothing. Barely has said a single word. Once, I was so pissed and I know it is fucked up, but I spat blood in her face. Which only served to make things worse for me.” 

Steve sighed. “You would think she would be fearful for her daughter to get the same treatment as you. We all know Max has a smart mouth. I can’t believe that she knows what your dad does and stays with him. That she sees it and does nothing.”

Billy lifted his shirt over his head. “I don’t get it either but then again, women are always putting up with bullshit from men.”

For some unknown reason, Steve’s pulse quickened and his temperature was rising. He tried to play it cool though. “That’s true. My dad cheats all the time, which my mom knows, but she doesn’t do anything about it except follow him around everywhere.”

After tossing his shirt to the ground, Billy began to slide off his pants. “I have some regrets as to how I’ve treated girls in the past and I think it is just in our nature to be assholes. Don’t you agree?”

Feeling flustered, Steve nodded. “I mean, yeah, to an extent. Girls – women can be assholes too.”

Billy softly chuckled, with Steve realizing that it was actually pleasant to hear. “Absolutely.” 

Assessing his near nudity, Steve asked Billy, “Are you tired?”

“A little, I didn’t really get any sleep last night.”

“Okay, you can have my bed if you want. I can sleep on the floor.”

Billy shook his head. “No, no I’m already imposing. The floor is fine for me. Do you have a spare pillow and blanket though?”

“Yeah, of course.” Steve handed him one of his pillows and stood up to retrieve a blanket from his closet. Billy rose off of the bed and began to clear a space on the floor. Steve grabbed a blanket and a sleeping bag. 

“I don’t need that,” Billy insisted when he saw it. 

“I just thought it would give you some cushion between you and the floor.” 

Billy considered it for a moment before nodding in agreement. “Okay, thanks.” Steve helped him unroll the sleeping bag and place it on the ground before climbing into the comfort of his sheets. 

With a good amount of alcohol remaining in his system, it didn’t take long before Steve was able to fall asleep.

_________________________________________________

Steve awoke from the nightmare he was having due to Billy shaking him. “Steve, you’re okay. It was just a dream.”

“I –uh – sorry if I woke you up,” he told the shadowy outline of the figure standing over him.

“It’s okay but I’m curious about what you were dreaming about, you were saying some weird shit.”

Steve’s throat tightened. “Like what?” The memory of what the nightmare had entailed came flooding back. 

“Well you seemed really scared, you were begging for someone or something to stop. You just kept yelling ‘no’ and ‘please’. What was that all about?”

At first his nightmares had consisted of the Demogorgon killing Nancy, then they morphed into the Demodogs attacking and killing the kids. However, last night he dreamt of neither. Instead, he had a nightmare about the Mind Flayer, a shadow-like entity that he only knew by description and Mrs. Byers’ crude drawing. The Mind Flayer was possessing Billy.

Steve knew that he had to say something. “I – I don’t remember.”

“Bullshit. I made a promise to be honest, you could at least do the same.” 

_Fuck_. Steve hadn’t realized he was that transparent. He didn’t want Billy to call him out again, but he couldn’t reveal everything either. “You wouldn’t understand, I can’t fully explain it but basically something bad happened. I have nightmares about the outcome being worse than it actually was.” 

Billy slowly backed away and asked in a tight whisper, “Are they about me? Your nightmares?”

Steve became nervous but then Billy quietly continued, “Are they about me hurting you?” Though his words slightly eased his nerves, Steve started to feel something else. There was shame and sorrow in Billy’s voice, and Steve immediately wanted to remedy it.

“No, no I swear. It’s about something significantly worse than you just kicking my ass…” Billy had asked for honesty so Steve then added, “I will admit though, for the first few days after our fight, I would wake with a start. It was like those falling dreams everyone has except it was the sensation of being punched instead.”

In the silent darkness, Steve heard Billy take a sharp, staggering breath. After some time, when Steve had nearly fallen back asleep, Billy spoke, “I’m sorry. I should have said it before.”

Sleepily, Steve asked, “Sorry? For what?”

He sighed heavily. “For hurting you. If Max hadn’t stopped me…” Billy trailed off, his voice breaking. 

Steve sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed. He motioned for Billy to sit next to him, until he realized that the gesture was lost in the dark of the room. “Sit over here for a minute,” he beckoned Billy.

“Why?” Steve could swear he heard a sniffle after Billy had asked.

“Just do it, okay?”

Surprisingly, Billy followed Steve’s instruction and sat on the bed next to him. “What?”

Boldly, Steve grabbed Billy’s hand and placed it on his own shoulder. He had been expecting Billy to pull away or yell at him but he didn’t. “I’m still here, I’m alive. It doesn’t matter what could have happened. You – you went to a dark place, I get that now. And I forgive you.”

Steve never in a million years could have predicted what happened next.


	4. Chapter 4

He _kissed_ Billy. 

Steve was not sure what had given him the sudden compulsion but he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t hold back any longer. 

Billy’s perfectly shaped lips, with his warm breath so near, were like a magnet drawing Steve closer and closer until satisfaction was met. However, it was a rapidly fleeting sensation as Billy pulled away.

Steve swore Billy had kissed him back at first but perhaps he was imagining things. He held his breath in preparation for Billy’s response. Steve had kissed a boy before, after Tommy had dared him. It was quick; it was nothing. This was different.

He _liked_ Billy.

Steve hoped that it was mutual but that’s all it was – hope. He never even considered the actual possibility of a positive outcome.

So, Steve was absolutely shocked when Billy grabbed him around the neck and kissed him back. It was far from what he was expecting. Steve thought at the very least, Billy would scream at him and express his disgust. But he had prepared for the worst – to get pummeled again.

He nearly choked on his own breath as Billy embraced him. His hands were rough and calloused, greedily grazing along Steve’s body as he kissed him hungrily. An involuntary moan escaped from Steve as Billy pressed him against the bed, the thin fabric of Billy’s underwear doing little to conceal his hard cock.

Steve’s mind went blank, the first time in a long time, as Billy writhed against him causing his own cock to stiffen. As nice as it was to not think, Steve had to put his brain into use. There had to be some sort of discussion between the two of them before this continued. 

He held Billy back with some necessary force. “Wait, wait – can we talk about this?”

Billy groaned in frustration. “What is there to talk about? This is obviously something we both want,” he said the last bit with lust heavy in his voice as he firmly placed his hand between Steve’s thighs.

Steve froze in place, his words lost as soon as Billy touched him. _Fuck it_ , he told himself and then climbed on top of Billy. The only experience that Steve had to go on was with girls but he figured it was the same or at least very similar.

His mouth collided against Billy’s; at least kissing was something that he could count on as being the same with men. It was different though. It was far more rough, the two of them both pushing each other. Girls easily yielded and let him take the lead but it was as though he and Billy were in competition, a concept Steve found incredibly arousing.

Emboldened, Steve pulled away from Billy’s lips in order to give attention to his neck. Once he had latched on, right above his collarbone, Billy prettily moaned. Steve chuckled and taunted, “You like that, don’t you?” 

Billy told him breathily, “Obviously.” He then grabbed a handful of Steve’s hair and gave a sharp tug. “Do you like that, _pretty boy_?” 

Steve gave a small whine but the pain was a welcome sensation. He responded by ramming his tongue down Billy’s throat. While their tongues were in an alluring combat, Billy slid his hands down Steve’s back and into his pajama pants. Both hands cupped the rounded mounds of his ass and squeezed, pulling Steve even tighter against Billy. 

They melded into each other and Steve sucked on Billy’s lower lip before momentarily drawing himself away to remove his shirt. As their lips reattached themselves to each other, Billy raked his nails first down Steve’s back and then over his bare chest. A low, primal growl escaped from Steve.

He grinded, hard and desperately, against Billy, who wrapped his legs around him. He wanted to be inside of him. He wanted him any way that he could get him. Steve allowed his tongue to sweep against Billy’s mouth once more before he traveled further down his body.

He ran his tongue over Billy’s jaw line and followed it to his ear where he sucked and nibbled. Steve then returned to Billy’s neck, this time suckling more fiercely and gently using his teeth. Billy’s breath hitched and he grasped Steve’s hair once more.

With Billy’s fingers still entwined in his locks, Steve eased himself further downwards and placed his mouth over one of Billy’s nipples. He alternated between sucking, licking, and running his thumb over it, effectively teasing Billy.

Billy pulled at Steve’s hair until he couldn’t stand it and gently scolded him, “Hey.” Sweetly laughing, Billy apologized, “Sorry.” He then lightly ran his fingers through Steve’s dark brown trusses. 

Appeased, Steve kissed his way down Billy’s abdomen, appreciating his hardened, muscular flesh. Reaching the waistband of his underwear, Steve ran his hands up Billy’s thick and hairy thighs. His hands barely covered the breadth of them. 

Steve lifted Billy’s thighs over his shoulders, snaking his arms under them. He anxiously and slowly gripped the waistband of Billy’s underwear. He wanted to take Billy into his mouth but was nervous about it. 

As he started to tug the underwear down, Billy placed a hand over his own, bidding him to stop. “Wait.”

“What’s the matter?”

“I-“ Billy stopped and cleared his throat. “I’ve never done it.”

“Suck a dick? Neither have I, but I want to.” 

Billy stroked his thumb over Steve’s knuckles. “No. I’ve never had sex.”

“With guys? I haven’t either. You’re the only one that I’ve wanted to have sex with.”

Growing frustrated, Billy groaned. “No, you aren’t listening to me. I have _never_ had sex with anyone. I’m a virgin.”

“Oh.” Steve was uncertain of what to say. He had questioned the amount of girls that Billy was sleeping with but never would have thought that Billy was a virgin. 

After some silence, Billy turned his head and tried to pull away from him as he told Steve in a huff, “Well if it bothers you that much, just forget about it then.”

Steve grabbed his hips and held him still. “It doesn’t bother me at all. In fact, I’m incredibly flattered. I’m sorry for my reaction. I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.” 

He could feel Billy relax beneath his palms so he moved his hands back to Billy’s thighs and gently spread them further apart. He placed soft kisses on the inside of each thigh before speaking again. 

“Just so you know, this is all so new to me too. I’ve never been someone’s first and they mine, I’ve never shared that experience with anyone. But – I couldn’t imagine sharing it with anyone besides you.” He resumed his soft kisses, this time right above Billy’s waistband. 

He paused, telling Billy, “Let me know if you are uncomfortable at any time or if you want me to stop.”

“Okay,” Billy huskily breathed, sending shivers down Steve’s spine.

He slowly tugged down Billy’s briefs, exposing his hard cock. Though Steve’s eyes had partially adjusted to the darkness of the room, he wished that he could have a better glimpse of Billy’s dick. Steve grasped the shaft and began to stroke Billy’s cock, much like he would his own. Moans were falling from Billy’s mouth so Steve assumed he was doing something right. He thumbed over the tip, with some pressure, feeling the slight dampness of Billy’s precum.

Steve had the urge to taste him, so he guided Billy into his mouth. He modeled his actions on what he had witnessed from the several girls that had given him blowjobs. Steve wrapped his lips over the head and slowly swept his tongue against it. Billy tensed, grabbing a hold of Steve’s hair once more. 

He kept a tight grip as Steve continued. Steve swirled his tongue around and flicked it over the tip of Billy’s cock. “Fuck, that feels… _fuck_ ,” Billy attempted to give words to his pleasure. Steve began to work Billy’s dick deeper and deeper down his throat while using his hand to stroke the shaft where his lips didn’t reach.

Within a few minutes, Billy loudly came. Steve attempted to put a hand over his mouth, but it was no use. His warm cum shot to the back of Steve’s throat in three bursts, salty but not completely unpleasant tasting, as Billy’s moans filled the room.

Steve swallowed and crawled up beside Billy, smirking. “So how was it?” he asked. Billy laughed in between labored breathing before nuzzling into the crook of Steve’s neck. After he caught his breath, Billy started to suck on Steve’s neck.

“Mmm, _baby_ ,” Steve cooed, the pet name involuntarily tumbling from his lips. Billy chuckled against his neck but then resumed kissing and sucking at the sensitive skin on Steve’s neck. His teeth lightly grazed the flesh before sliding down Steve’s body.

Billy caressed his tongue over Steve’s chest, working his way south. He slightly pulled down one side of Steve’s pants before kissing the crease of Steve’s hip. As fuzzy as his mind was at the moment, Steve thought to say, “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” 

His lips drew away for a moment. “But I _do_ want to, more than you could know. Especially after seeing you in that Speedo earlier.” Steve could not only hear the smile in Billy’s voice, he could also see the glimmer of his teeth even in the dark.

Steve softly laughed. “The way your eyes lit up, I should have realized.” 

Billy snorted. “You should have realized a lot earlier. God, I must have dropped a thousand hints.” 

“I had a feeling that you were coming onto me, but I thought that maybe that it was just the way you were or something,” Steve admitted.

Billy’s fingers curled over the edge of his pajamas, pulling them the rest of the way down. “I hope this is obvious enough for you,” he said before taking Steve into his mouth. 

“ _Fuck_ … yeah that will do it.” Steve chuckled. With Billy sucking his cock, Steve gently took the tendril of hair on Billy’s forehead between his thumb and forefinger. It was something he had been longing to do. Billy hummed approvingly, producing a pleasurable sensation.

Steve moaned and gripped his sheets with one hand but used the other to continue softly stroking Billy’s hair. After discovering the technique, Billy kept up with the humming as he bobbed up and down on Steve’s dick. That combined with the tight pressure of Billy’s lips quickly sent Steve’s focus spiraling away from him.

All that he could think about or feel was Billy’s mouth around him. He began to sense that familiar tension but he didn’t want it to end so quickly. It was as though Steve and Billy were the only two people in the world. Nothing and no one else mattered. He didn’t want this feeling to dissipate but he knew that he was close.

“Baby – oh _fuck_ ,” Steve didn’t have a chance to warn Billy as the combination of pure euphoria and overwhelming relief swept over him. He came into Billy’s mouth, which caused Billy to jerk with surprise but he kept his lips over Steve’s cock. Steve felt each spasm as his dick continued to spurt cum into Billy’s warm mouth.

His pulse thrummed in his ears as Steve collapsed backwards onto the bed, utterly exhausted. His now soft cock fell from Billy’s open lips as he drew away. Billy curled up against Steve and sighed contently.

Steve turned onto his side so that he and Billy were face to face. “God, I fucking love touching you,” he admitted as he stroked Billy’s hip. 

Billy softly chuckled. “I’m quite fond of it myself, pretty boy. I love touching you too, and hearing the sounds you make.”

He had said something else but Steve couldn’t make it out. His eyes were closed and with Billy’s warm body wrapped around him, Steve was quickly lulled to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Steve awoke to the sun’s rays warming his back. He had his arms wrapped around Billy, who was softly snoring. They lay uncovered, the sheet and blanket at their feet. Steve snuggled closer to Billy, with his nose nuzzled in Billy’s hair. He inhaled, the smell of chlorine still clinging to his curls. Billy slightly stirred and sighed, but didn’t wake.

His head was pounding but he didn’t care. Not with Billy in his arms. Steve hadn’t felt this good in a long time and he wasn’t going to let a hangover spoil it.

Without warning, Mr. Harrington barged into Steve’s room. “I’m going to skin you alive for drinking my –“ Steve’s father was rendered speechless as he caught sight of Steve and Billy, naked and entwined.

Billy, now awake pulled the sheets up to cover himself and Steve. Steve’s father, his brow furrowed and his face red, looked out into the hall before shutting the door. He stood up straight and pointed at Billy, “You – get out of my house right now.”

Incredulous, Billy lay motionless as Steve jumped to his defense, “Don’t –“ 

“Shut your mouth, Steve. You – whatever your name is – get out of this house right this instant before I call your parents and explain what I’ve discovered.” Mr. Harrington’s icy gaze bore down on Billy. 

“Dad, please you can’t –“

“I told you to shut your fucking mouth Steve, I will deal with you as soon as he is gone.” Steve had never, not once, heard his father cuss. He was terrified, not for himself, but for Billy. He couldn’t bear to think what would happen to him if Neil Hargrove found out what had occurred in Steve’s bedroom.

“Okay, I’m leaving. Just let me get dressed,” Billy conceded and sat up in the bed. James Harrington turned around, giving him privacy. Billy’s clothes were still downstairs in the living room so he put back on the clothes that he had borrowed from Steve. He quickly whispered to Steve, “ _I’m sorry_.”

Before Steve could reply, his father whipped around. “Okay, you are dressed. Get out.” Billy did as he was told, looking sympathetically back at Steve before he shut the door behind him.

Steve pulled his sheet up to his chest and crossed his arms. He cowardly sunk into the bed as he awaited his father’s words. Mr. Harrington quietly sat on the end of the bed, but Steve could see the anger lurking beneath his calm demeanor.

“How could you do something so… _disgusting_? And under my roof? You would break your mother’s heart; you would _kill_ her if she found out. How can you live with yourself after doing what you’ve done?”

With his father’s pointed questions, Steve found himself sobbing. His father looked away with a grimace on his face. “Your behavior disrespects both your mother and I. She gave birth to a son, we raised a son together, but instead I’m sitting here talking to a fucking pansy. How dare you do this to us?”

His father’s degrading comments were breaking Steve. His entire life was based upon trying to please his parents. It was never enough and now he had done something unforgiveable in his father’s opinion. He sobbed even harder and attempted an apology. “Dad, I’m so sorry. It just… happened.” 

Mr. Harrington was refusing to look at his son and bitterly laughed at the ground. “Things like that do not just ‘happen’. I knew you were stupid but surely you aren’t that stupid Steve. Sorry is not going to cut it. There are going to be some new rules around here and if you break them, I will not hesitate to call your – the boy’s parents. I would also report you to the police, if it were still illegal.”

Steve swallowed the rising bile in the back of his throat as he slowly nodded his head. His father then listed off the new rules, “The first rule is that you have to go to work for me or find another job. You will be working if you want to stay under this roof. Second, you will be attending college by next fall. Third, you are never to be seen with that boy again let alone speak to him. And finally, you will have a strict curfew of 10pm, no exceptions. Do I make myself clear?” 

“Yes, sir.”

_________________________________________________

Steve knew that, eventually, both of his parents would leave for the country club. They spent nearly every weekend there. He had made an accurate assumption, both his mother and father leaving just before noon.

Once they were gone, Steve quickly made off to find Billy. He had to talk to him. 

Because Hawkins was such a small town, it wasn’t hard to find him. He was at the library of all places. Steve parked, hopped out of his car, and headed inside. He dizzyingly made his way through the stacks looking for Billy. He found him curled up with a book in one of the library’s large windows. 

Billy was completely enthralled with his book and didn’t notice Steve approach him. To get his attention, Steve cleared his throat. Billy finally looked up and seemed surprised but smiled. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk. This morning – it was intense.”

Billy scoffed. “Yeah that’s one way to put it. Are you okay? I’m sorry for the mess that I got you into. I’ve been worried sick for you ever since I left. That’s why I came here, reading helps calm me down.”

“I’m okay. I always knew my dad was an asshole, so I should have expected it, but he said some really fucked up shit to me. Also, you need to stop apologizing. I should be telling you sorry. If your dad found out – I can’t even imagine the consequences.” Steve then lowered his voice, “I made the first move, and if anyone is to blame it’s me.”

“You may have kissed me first but I definitely was the one who came onto you first, even if you didn’t realize it,” Billy insisted.

Steve first rolled his eyes and then they darted around the library, looking to make sure no one was in earshot. “Well regardless, it led to more than I think either of us had expected.”

Billy narrowed his eyes and his mouth twitched. “What do you mean by that? Are you saying you regret it?”

Judging by his tone, Steve could tell that Billy was getting upset. “No – well, not exactly. It was great, you were great, but –“ 

“Of course there is a fucking ‘but’. But what, Steve?” Billy’s voice was getting louder as his anger rose.

“I just think that we should have thought it through. Like, where is this possibly going to go? If my father sees us or finds out from someone else, he threatened to call your dad. The two of us – being together – would put you in danger.”

Billy shook his head and then with his fists balled, he stood up and shouted, “That’s bullshit Steve! You are just fucking scared, admit it!”

Rendered speechless and concerned with the volume at which Billy was yelling, Steve glanced around to see if they had caught anyone’s attention. “I –“

“Don’t even attempt to deny it! You think I haven’t noticed how nervous you are? What’s wrong? Am I being too loud, Steve?” 

“Okay! I am scared! I’m scared shitless, why aren’t you?”

Before Billy could answer, the librarian had made an appearance and scolded them, “Boys, in case you haven’t noticed, this is a library. You’re going to have to be quiet or find somewhere else to yell at each other.”

“It’s not like there is anyone else in here, Marissa. Besides, if we are being honest, there’s _never_ anyone in here,” Billy talked back to the librarian. 

She pushed her glasses up her nose and then placed her hands on her hips and demanded, “Out. Now. Both of you.”

Billy groaned but stormed off and out of the library. Steve followed him out to his car. “Just how often do you come here? First name basis with the librarian and everything?” Steve mused. 

Though Billy was still pissed, he managed a small grin before returning back to a serious expression. “Get in my car.”

Steve knew that Billy was just probably going to yell at him some more but he obliged him. Once seated in the passenger seat, Steve awaited the continuation of their argument. Instead, he looked over and Billy was crying. Not knowing what to say, Steve apologized, “I’m sorry.” 

Billy shook his head. “No, you were right. I am scared. I’m fucking terrified. My dad would _kill_ me if he found out. But it’s not just that, Steve I –“

“What, Billy?”

“I’m scared of losing _you_. I don’t know what this is to you but to me it’s everything that I’ve been looking for. I don’t know what I was hoping for but it wasn’t this. After all that happened between us last night, I didn’t think you would have given me up so easily.” 

Defeated, Steve asked, “You wouldn’t have done the same?”

“No. I wouldn’t have. I would have fought for you,” Billy sobbed. 

Steve sighed and grabbed Billy’s hand. “Don’t you understand? I _was_ fighting for you. I agreed with my dad to protect you.”

Billy snapped his hand away. “What good is your protection if we can’t even be together?”

“We can, we just have to be careful. No one can know about us. No one can see us. Okay?”

Though he let out an agitated sigh, Billy replied, “I’ll think about it.”

“Can we meet here tomorrow after school? I think it is the safest place for us. Don’t you agree?” Steve inquired.

Billy shot him a pointed look. “I said I’d think about it.”

“You won’t know by tomorrow?” Steve asked before giving a hopeful smile.

Billy groaned. “Jesus, Steve! You can really be a real pain in the ass, you know that right?”

Steve grinned and cheekily asked, “A pain in the ass that you are going to meet here tomorrow?”

He rolled his eyes, a small grin appearing at the corners of his mouth. “Fine. Tomorrow right after school. But I still haven’t made up my mind yet, got it?”

“Got it.” He wanted to squeeze Billy’s hand or kiss him but instead just left him with a simple, “Bye.”

“Bye,” Billy softly told him as Steve stepped out of the car. He drove off and Steve found himself already missing his presence. He couldn’t wait until tomorrow.

_________________________________________________

Steve showed up at the library a little bit before 4pm, Billy’s car was nowhere in sight but he wasn’t too worried about it. Possibly, Billy had to take Max home first. Steve pretended to browse the stacks and randomly selected a book before sitting at the window where he had found Billy yesterday.

About 10 minutes had passed before Billy made his appearance. Steve looked up at him expectantly, waiting for him to speak first.

“What are you reading?”

Steve scoffed and looked at the cover. “I have no idea. Apparently it’s called _The Eye of Argon_. I wasn’t actually reading, I was just waiting for you but attempting to blend in.”

Billy softly chuckled, a sound Steve was quite fond of. “Oh okay. I’m guessing you are expecting an answer?”

Steve rapidly nodded. “Unless you haven’t decided yet.”

“I’ve decided.”

Steve sucked the air through his teeth. “Okay, let’s hear it then. Quickly, like ripping off a band-aid.”

He tightly closed his eyes and grimaced, nervous for Billy’s answer.

“I’ve thought about it and what I’ve decided is that I do want to give it a try. I’d rather sneak around in the shadows than to not be with you at all.”

_________________________________________________

Steve was completely smitten with Billy after the first week of their clandestine affair. He knew that he was attracted to him but after talking day after day with him at the library, Steve was falling hard and fast for Billy. He could tell that Billy was developing strong feelings towards him as well despite having to pretend they hated each other at school.

Physically, they took things pretty slow. Well, slow for Steve. For three days, they only had brief make out sessions in Billy’s Camaro when they were absolutely sure no one could see them. On the fourth day, Steve had gained enough courage to give Billy an illicit blowjob in the car. 

Desperately wanting more of each other, they made a plan to skip school together on Monday. They would meet at Billy’s house when Mr. and Mrs. Hargrove were at work and Max was at school. Steve had no issues with skipping but Billy did not want to gain an unexcused absence so he forged a note from his stepmother.

Miraculously, everything went according to plan. Steve sat with Billy on his bed as they held hands and kissed. Billy sighed. “I wish that we didn’t have to hide. I want everyone to know that you are mine and I’d fight anyone who had a problem with it.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “You couldn’t fight everyone in Hawkins. You know that it would be us against this entire town right?”

“You wanna bet? I’d _kill_ for you Steve.”

“I believe it but what makes you so certain that I would want you to kill for me? This is where I have lived my entire life and even though there are quite a few assholes, there are some decent people who would disagree with us too.”

Billy snorted. “They aren’t very decent then if they would keep two people in love apart from each other.” 

Steve felt his heart soar. Billy had said the 4-letter word. It was indirect but still, he had thrown it out there.

Smiling, Steve questioned, “In love?”

Billy turned bright red. “Fuck. Did I say that?”

Grinning like a maniac, Steve nodded his head and pounced on Billy. They hungrily undressed each other and for the first time, they were able to completely view one another’s naked forms. Heavy lidded, Billy gazed into Steve’s eyes as he grasped his cock. “Goddamn Steve, your dick is really something else.”

Steve chuckled. “So is yours, baby. Really, it isn’t fair how fucking beautiful you are.”

“Me? Look at you, no wonder you drive all the girls crazy around here.” He started to stroke Steve’s cock as they kissed.

Steve was taken by surprise by what Billy then whispered in his ear. “I want you to fuck me with this big dick of yours.” 

“Really?”

Billy seductively bit his lower lip and nodded before parting Steve’s lips with his tongue, slipping it between their two mouths as they kissed.

“Please fuck me Steve,” Billy quietly begged as their lips drew away from each other.

A shudder of pure desire washed over Steve, his cock throbbing with want and need. “Anything for you baby.”

They took their time, Steve making sure he was gentle and that Billy was completely comfortable. He slowly eased inside Billy while grasping his hips, with Billy’s legs wrapped around him. They both gasped as Steve filled Billy. The sensation was like nothing Steve had ever experienced.

The slightest movement was nearly enough to push Steve over the edge. “Baby you feel so fucking good,” Steve uttered as he slowly rolled his hips forward. 

As he buried his cock in Billy’s ass, he moaned. It was not only loud but also completely primal. He continued to move slowly, worried that if he increased his pace that he would come within seconds.

Antagonized by Steve’s dawdling speed, Billy started to use his legs to propel Steve into him. Steve gasped and pulled back. “I’m going to come if you keep doing that.”

Billy softly laughed. “Isn’t that the point?”

“Yes, but I want to make sure you come too.”

“Don’t worry, if you fuck me hard right now, we will both be coming.”

Steve followed Billy’s instruction and began to drive his cock hard and fast into Billy’s tight ass. Encouraged by Billy’s ecstatic moans, Steve continued fucking him until they came simultaneously.

It was by far the most satisfying sex that Steve had ever had. 

After that first experience, Steve started to crave Billy every moment that he was conscious. It was no longer bearable to see him at school and not speak to him or touch him. Steve became bolder, discreetly sharing whispers and quick touches in the hallway. He had to have Billy again and soon.

On Wednesday, they were in the library making plans to play hooky again, when Mr. Harrington suddenly came trudging in. “Steve, go home right this instant.”

Billy stood up and placed himself between Steve and his father. “He doesn’t have to go anywhere.”

James Harrington scoffed. “I don’t think you understand, you… _degenerate_. He is going to go home and you are never going to see him again, I’ll make sure of it.” 

“Steve, do you want to go home?” Billy was playing with fire.

“I – no, but I should,” Steve meekly responded

“That’s right, you _will_ go home if you know what’s good for you. For the both of you,” Mr. Harrington demanded with authority.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Chief Hopper appeared at their side. “Hey! What is going on here?”

Steve’s father smirked as he turned to the Chief of Police. “Yes Chief, I’d like to make a complaint against this young man, Billy Hargrove. He has been harassing my son.”

“That’s a fucking lie!” Steve shouted. 

“Steve –“ Hopper warned him. “Hargrove? Are you Max’s stepbrother?” 

Though both Steve and Billy had been encouraged by Hopper’s appearance, now Billy seemed worried as he nodded.

“Well, judging by that information, I’m not sure who to believe in this situation,” Hopper assessed.

Mr. Harrington huffed, “Chief, this _delinquent_ has been a terrible influence on my son. I will not go into detail but even after forbidding my son to see him, I found them here together.”

Hopper rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger in annoyance. “Umm – well I could see why you would be angry but it doesn’t seem like Hargrove is harassing your son if Steve is choosing to hang out with him.”

Mr. Harrington’s face turned red with rage. “Are you telling me that there is nothing you can do to prevent this young man from corrupting my son?”

Hopper momentarily closed his eyes before calmly asking, “What is it you would like me to do then, Mr. Harrington?”

“At least speak to his parents, tell them what their son has been up to.”

Steve’s soft brown eyes went wide and he objected, “No – you can’t!”

Hopper ignored him and told Mr. Harrington, “I will take care of it.” He then promptly turned on his heel and made an exit out of the building. Steve was right behind him.

“Chief, wait. Please, wait!”

He turned around and groaned, “What?”

“You can’t say anything to Neil Hargrove. Please, I’m begging you,” Steve pleaded.

“Don’t worry, I know all about Neil. He’s a real nasty piece of work and I could probably say the same about his son. However, I won’t say anything unless I am forced to do so.”

Steve sighed a breath of relief just as his father walked out of the library. “Steve, let the Chief do his job. Get in your car, I will see you back at home.”

He looked back at the library momentarily, before following his father’s command.

Once he was back at home, his father gave him another lecture and as a punishment for violating the “new rules”, Steve now had to work for his father’s law firm at least until the summer. Steve also had to come straight home after school. 

Steve desperately tried to avoid Billy as much as possible to make it easier on himself. Seeing Billy but not being able to be with him was excruciating. Avoiding him completely was impossible but the strategy worked for a few days. Until, Steve had to pick up his cap and gown for graduation after school. 

Though Billy was a junior, he must have heard the announcement and was waiting for Steve in the parking lot. Not taking no for an answer, he demanded, “Get in my car, we need to talk.” 

The parking lot was nearly empty, so Steve obliged. He had to get it over with anyway.

“What do you want to talk about?” Steve feigned ignorance.

Billy’s head snapped towards him and he rolled his eyes. “You know. You’ve been avoiding me like the plague.”

“Yeah?”

“Why? I thought we were trying to make this work?”

“That was before my dad caught us again.”

“So? Why does that change anything?”

Steve scoffed. He couldn’t believe that Billy was so unconcerned with the risk they had been taking. “It changes _everything_. If my dad finds out the chief didn’t say anything to your dad or sees us together again, he won’t hesitate to call him and tell him everything.”

Billy huffed, “Whatever, let him tell my dad. It doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is if we are together or not.”

“Billy, it matters to me. Your dad would likely kill you, which you admitted yourself. Why would you put yourself in that much danger just to be with me?” 

He grabbed Steve’s hand. “Because I love you, okay? I love you Steve Harrington and if it gets me murdered, I don’t fucking care.”

Steve had to do the only thing that he knew for certain that would prevent Billy from risking everything just to be with him. He pulled his hand away and told Billy, “I don’t – I don’t love you. You shouldn’t be risking your fucking life for someone who doesn’t give a shit about you. You were a good fuck, I’ll admit it, but that’s it.” 

Steve saw Billy’s heart break right before him but it didn’t stop him from continuing. “You were an experiment, nothing more. Now I’m over it and I don’t want to fuck you, let alone see you, ever again. Got it?” 

After he said his final words, Steve jumped out of Billy’s car and didn’t look back as he got in his BMW. He made sure to keep it together until he was out of the parking lot. As soon as the school sign was out of sight, Steve broke down.

_________________________________________________

After breaking things off, Steve did his best not to look at Billy but when he did, Billy was staring him down with absolute contempt. He had heard from gossip that Billy was in a new fight nearly every day.

A week before school ended, Billy showed up with a new tattoo on his arm. A smoking skull. Steve just knew that it was symbolic of what had happened between them.

For the remainder of the school year, Steve had kept his head down. He did his schoolwork, helped at his father’s office, and stopped going to parties. The time passed miserably slow but then graduation came and went.

Once school was out, Steve got a job at the new mall. Though he had followed his father’s demands diligently, Steve hated every minute of it. He could not wait to gain his independence from his controlling asshole of a father and hoped the new, albeit embarrassing, job would help him do it.

The only problem in Steve’s life that had no solution was Billy. It killed him that he had hurt Billy so badly. He knew what that sort of pain felt like and hated himself for inflicting it on someone else. He hadn’t seen any other option in the moment but he regretted the choice every day.

Billy now hated him and eventually would be able to move on but Steve would never have that closure. Steve would love Billy until his dying breath.


End file.
